Rumlow’s half-assed condolences were also one of my fav things
"Sorry to hear about Fury, Cap. That was messed up what happened to him. Real messed up. Mad fucked up. Like, shit, man. You wake up in the morning and you’re like—nobody expects that, you know? Fucked up world we’re livin’ in, man, real fucked up. I’m here for you and shit, though."
clint barton saying his dick is a “weapon of ass destruction” partway through sex and laughing so hard at himself he has to pull out and get a glass of water
i’m never gonna finish this so here it is anyway
straight people on tv show: *literally have sex*
gay people on tv show: *exist*
ok.. :\ but… ok like im not homophobic… :\ im ok with gay people but why do you have to shove it in my face… :\
Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.
Rick: Not right now it isn’t.
my whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the bitchy comment